April 18th, 2011
|
I agree with the M&G article and the post earlier on about Joburg restaurants. But perhaps the points were made too politely.
Lets be frank: DW (eleven or twelve or whatever - I don’t actually care) - what a stupid, sad excuse and how stupid of EAT OUT to say anything but fuck you to that pathetic molecular gastronomy lite. fuck that shit. oh, and the new YUM wank fest what ever they’re called. R500 for a 16 courses of every animal and every vegetable - gross. Heston Blumenthal suck my dick. Espresso: smells. The wolves: fuck off. The rabbit and the moon: sad, empty, overpriced. Trabella: crap pizza bases actually (but good for date night). Turn and tender: is that all there is for us. Salvation: incredibly bad service. Il Giardino: Assagi Lite.
April 10th, 2011
|
Id like to say one or two things about having dinner parties and lunches in my apartment complex.
The first thing I’d like to say is to my neighbours: FUCK YOU GUYS.
If you want peace and quite go and live in a house in Westedene and if you cant afford a house, earn more money.
Being stropy about noise is so incredibly boring, and rude and off-sides.
When did nice people eating and laughing become noise pollution? Listening to John Meyer concerts at full volume is pollution.
And this is the lunch they were complaining about. Philistines.
April 5th, 2011
|
I have a love/hate relationship with the Neighborhood Goods Market.
I love it because it’s a great place to nurse all sorts of cravings, and there are so many awesome ‘artisinal’ style foodie things in one place that it’s hard to leave without finding something delicious to sink your teeth into or take home to drool over later (my preeeccciiioooouussssssssssssss…)
Apparently it’s now going to be happening in Joburg too, which is fucking fantastic, because the Joburgers will enjoy it and appreciate it more than the spoilt Capetonians who only go there to show off.
Which brings me to why I hate it.
The biggest and most off-putting thing is the pretentious shit heads that prance around in their hipster clothes with their hipster hangovers, dogs on leads, posturing and being all hipster, not appreciating the food and congesting the place with their stupid faces and unwashed, bony bodies. They are like a bunch of stupid chimney sweeps and couldn’t give a rat’s arse about the things being sold. I don’t remember the last time I saw any of them exchange money with a vendor. Go away! Find somewhere else to have your stupid ‘gathering’ or whatever the hell it is. I want to get to the FOOD! I want the best fat steak sandwiches, all pink in the middle, soft and rare and dripping in hot mustard. I want Souvlaki with melty haloumi and tzatsiki. I want an enormous sangria that I can hoover down and chew on the fruity bits at the bottom. I don’t want to look at their stupid faces- they ruin it! Between groups of them being all ironic and bored, and fighting my way through the ambling crowds of the zillion other dopey slow walkers, I feel really pissed off. So I’d rather avoid it. It’s too much stress and most of the time you also can’t find parking anyway.
Also, it’s so frikken expensive- what’s that about? Remember the days when a ‘market’ meant that you’d get a kind of reasonable deal on something?! Or basically that the stall holders weren’t paying overheads, so the goods were more affordable. I know the stuff is like, fancy and handmade/ carried on a sherper’s back all the way from Uzbekhestan to Woodstock, but come on!
Bugger… I love it though.